This is less of a book review/recap than it is an explosion of horrified thoughts after having just finished my dozenth-or-so reading of “FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC,” and my first as a grown-up. If you’re unfamiliar with the plot, don’t read on because spoilers, or alternatively you can have every agonizing minute of the experience broken down for you on Wikipedia. And for the love of all that is decent, do not ever, EVER see the ’90s movie version.
Now we can proceed with what I just posted on Goodreads, under my 4-star rating.
- Story quality: 8/10
- Dialogue quality: LOL/10
- Still scandalous after all these years: PRICELESS.
Did I just stay up until five in the morning re-reading a book that messed me up in unimaginable ways when I was 11 years old? Did I, seriously, just do that? Why, yes. Yes, I did.
No, actually, I’m lying. It was only about 4:55 a.m. when I finished the book. I’ve spent the last half hour trying to decide whether to laugh or cry hysterically at the staggering number of Goodreads reviewers who read this godforsaken book at the same young age I did. What the hell, world? How did everyone just happen across this book – THIS BOOK!!! – before we’d even hit puberty?? And has anyone ever discussed with their therapists how it may or may not have completely fucked up all things relationship- and sex-related forevermore?!? No??? I’m thinkin’ I need to go find me a therapist just so I can ask how many others have staggered into those offices, lain themselves down on that Freudian couch and said, “Doc, I have a burning lust for my brother/sister, and my house doesn’t even have an attic. Help me.”
SPOILERS, obviously.
I seriously doubt there’s anyone reading these reviews who doesn’t already know what the book is about. You’ve read the blurb. This thing is infamous anyway. And apparently, as though all belonging to the same cult without ever realizing it, we’ve all read it. At a wildly inappropriate early age, no less.
Here are the things in this book (and I will struggle to not allow the subsequent books – all of which I read years ago, and own, and STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT – to colour my observations here, because hot damn, there is so very much in “PETALS ON THE WIND” in particular that can and will make you a headcase if you weren’t already) which are most likely to warp you forever:
We Watch So You Don't Have To! 